The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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