girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize