So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
