It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Found the puke drawer
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
