quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
