I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
