piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
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I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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