We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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