i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I faked an abortion last night.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
COCAINE IS GR8
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
