i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
