Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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