Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
