i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
