Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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