I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
