Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
