I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
