I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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