just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
ugly people sure do ruin things
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
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I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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