Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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