If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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