I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize