we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
