I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Sponge bath it is.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
