he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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