How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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