So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
