he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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