those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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