But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
