I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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