nut hugger
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
