I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
