My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
As shirtless as possible
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
