just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
