All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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