I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
