so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
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