I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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