We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
