Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
