So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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