Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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