I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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