Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
