I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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