kristin has been a bad kristin
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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