He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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