I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
