hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
