How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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