I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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