You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
