I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
