"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
