she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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