Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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