Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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